Wednesday, December 11, 2013

When you're glad the year is done

2013 is almost over?

It may be cliche, and it's probably proof I am getting older, but this year feels like a blur - or rather a few blurs of pie chart chunks.

First third of the year: morning sickness blur.

Second third of the year: working on the house blur.

Last third of the year: new baby blur, working on the house blur, living with my parents blur.   (See how that last pie chart chunk combined the other two themes as well?)

I wrote last year that 2012 was one of my favorite years ever.  It was fun.  So fun.  There was so much of freedom and adventure and accomplishment in that year.

This year brought the sweetest blessing of our little Anna, and for that, I love you, 2013.  But in many other ways, 2013 was hard.  So hard.  There has been so much of mundane and conflict and disappointment.

It's the 2013 kinds of years that reveal who I am.  And yuck.  A messy heart has been revealed.  A Lara who spends her days folding laundry over and over again and scraping woodwork over and over again is not nearly as sanctified as the old Lara thought she was.  But, really, who wouldn't be able to shine when you get to hop on a plane to Paris and climb fourteeners and train for a marathon because you have the time to spare?

So, Jesus, here is my 2013 wearied, worn, sinful, proud heart.

Thank you, blurred and heavy year, for exposing me.  You've knocked me down and beat me up, opened up my sin closet and ran away laughing.  But this woman you left, she now understands why weary world rejoices.  That Baby, that Savior - He is a thrill of hope.

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

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