Monday, April 29, 2013

Praying in circles


"God, please be working out Aaron's job.  Oh, Lord, you know we would love Job X; it's the best financially for our family, but it feels like such a long shot. "  (How are we going to pay for a fence at the new house for Maggie?)  "And that's another thing, Father, the fence...if Aaron got Job X, we could build a fence, but if he has to work at Place Y, no money for a fence.  But maybe that's how you want to work in our lives?  Because if he got Job X, it would clearly be from You.  You would be our Provider!  But then what if you what him to work at Place Y so that we have no extra cash anywhere, and then you step in and do crazy things for what we really need?  (Do we really need a fence? A rope might work?)  

That is a live and true excerpt from one of my prayers lately.  I told Aaron this morning I feel like I am praying in circles.  Except for the all-inclusive "Thy will be done", I have no idea how to pray about our future.   I want to ask God for big things, but what if I'm asking out of a selfish place?  I know God gives good things, but what if my concept of "good" is a far cry from His?  And, good grief, what about the people in India that are slaves, and how can I ask for a good job for my husband when they need deliverance and three square meals? 

Please tell me you sometimes pray in these circles too?  

I don't have it all figured out.  That's one thing I can settle on.

The other thing on which I'm settling?  

The knowledge that God IS.  He is, in infinite ways, so much more than me.  More than my thoughts.  More than this world.  When I find myself praying in circles, I come back to this:

"Father, you know.  You know.  Take my heart, take these prayers.  Sift them as they should be."

And maybe it is okay to just pray, 

"Thy will be done."



2 comments:

  1. SOmetimes I just pray, "God!" It might sound like I am swearing if a person were to overhear it...I am just trying to connect with Him when words get in the way. :)

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  2. Oh Jill, yes! Sometimes our words just don't work. I love that He knows.

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