Wednesday, November 16, 2011

waking up to your life

The real issue of No-Spend November has been to lay bare the idols of money and stuff in my life, yet a few other things have been uncovered too.

I am becoming more grateful.

I am learning to read this life in the language of what I've been given, not of what I do not have.

Sunday night we gathered all our K-Life leaders in close. We set out turkey and rolls, and they brought the other mainstays: stuffing, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, green beans. We borrowed a mishmash of tables and lined them up end to end and sent brown kraft paper rolling down the whole thing. We lit some candles, and Aaron put on a CD of cello music.

We're not afraid of cheesy, so yes, we sang the Doxology whilst holding hands, and yes, we partook in that time honored tradition of sharing what we are thankful for.

When it came my turn, I said,

"Sometimes I look around my life and think 'What can I not be thankful for?' That part in Philippians where Paul wrote about being content in plenty and in want--sometimes I feel like I have never had a season of want yet."

The thing about thankfulness is that is expands your soul. What you once thought a small, cramped, hole-in-the-wall flat is now a huge farmhouse with lofty, beamed ceilings. What you once thought such meagre furnishings, in need of total overhaul, are now catalog worthy displays, artful and lovely.

While, really, nothing in the circumstance has actually changed.

Only your heart.

I used to read blogs about home decor and fashion and lust after all the pretties. "If only," I would sigh.

If only Aaron made more money. If only I made some money. If only we could afford to buy new furniture instead of someone else's hand-me-downs. If only I could shop at Anthropologie and Ann Taylor Loft instead of garage sales and thrift shops.

This month, the "if onlies" have begun to slink away. I feel like I am seeing the abundance of my life for the first time. It's not about me, either--about what I've collected and curated finally being enough. No, it wheels me around 180 degrees and plants my face in front of God, and I am broken by His goodness and anguished that I have missed so much of it for 27 years.

May we take a long look at our lives, today and every day. May we breathe in and out thanks. May we, we who have never deserved, make much of the One who has always given.

1 comment:

  1. "Poisoning their brainwashed minds." xtainity brainwashed you. Liberalism is the poison.
    The gods used xtainity to demonize Lucifer, ensuring people refused to heed the teachings of THE SECOND COMING!!!. Lucifer is the Second Coming of Christ!!!
    xtianity is the product of the Apostle's books of the New Testiment and can't be trusted to contain the true teachings of Jesus Christ. Just like each one of you corrupt whores, the gods could have tempted them with immortality if they lied when writing the New Tesatiment. Then the gods dictated verbatim specifically to parlay into the destructive phenominah known as xtianity.
    We have seen the gods engage in similar behavior to keep people away from good religions, with the Jews in Palestine and Muslims recently post-9.11, demonizing both.
    This is another of the god's wicked curveballs, their reverse positioning tool extensively employed, utilizing positioning to prepare for the Apocalypse and your "consolation prize" of "1000 years with Jesus on Earth".

    Guns are bad because they empower men. Much like weightlifting and racing...
    Any male-dominated activity is a red flag, just like anything which black subculture compells blacks. Yes, women have guns. Now. Historically this wasn't an issue. They didn't drink. They didn't gamble. Sports. They didn't do so many behaviors the gods dump men into because they are so destructive.
    Now we are losing this, and with it the hope for the future of humanity on Planet Earth.
    Your women are your only chance, and the more masculinized they are the less hope you have. Women have always avoided these temptations, and have always guided the men into wisdom and knowledge, allowing them to make progress and avoid another shitty placement when reincarnated. This is the historical relationship between the two genders, and it is changing as we approach The End.

    "It's all going to hell. I don't have to deal with this mess I helped create. I won't be here so I don't give a fuck." This is the theory people have subscribed to for a couple of lifetimes, and will continue to until they understand reincarnation is real and will be enforced upon them.

    What I say is no different than any Republican in the quest to reduce the enormous scope of government.
    All those years of increasing government. None of those people were laid off as we regulratly witness in the private sector. Imagine the dead weight on the payroll.
    You have to start laying people off. Unfortunately insolvency is the goal the gods have for the United States.
    It's kind of like Mom:::So evil she isn't eligible for punishment until the end of her life when it is too late

    Brain scramble jokes. She was a fake.
    All in this position likely are fakes. The gods want things to prgress according to their agenda, and the clone host fakes guarentee the legislation they desire/require.
    They aree always fresh, new know-it-all 20 year olds, eager to hurt people and "earn", so the only way things will improve is ironically if our children improve, if parents raise considerate, moral children. But while we have trashy parents like my family the gods will always have an endless supply of immoral monsers happy to sabotage the country through legislation.

    In the course of decay and deterioration of the favor of the people the gods instructed their clone host tools in corporate to make changes to their products and subsequently in people's lives. The switch to plastic/disposable-based packaging is an outstanding example. Another is the extensive use/proliferation of disposable diapers. Whereas diaper services were the norm during the 20th cenutry a change occurred in the 70s/80s and parents began to incurr evil upon their children, and sadly in some cases think they were "earning" off their own infant children!!!