This is not the life I am meant to live.
This is not the true life.
The Lord met me today with these words from Jill Briscoe.
"A leader loves. The love of God is shed abroad by the Holy Spirit which is given to You. He will touch your hard, unloving heart and create a warm, loving one instead.
They won't be touched until you are touched! Get near enough to me, Christ says, so I can take you in my hands like those loaves and fishes. Let me touch you, and when I do I'll bless you and break you and give you to the people. Then they will all be satisfied. They will know you love them...leaders who love must know what it is to be alone."
I know that the Jesus blessed Mary for sitting at His feet, and I know He rebuked Martha for her flustered, full service. I know this in my head. Yet in action, I refute it again and again. The love that Christ desires to spread through us is not achieved by activity, or motion, or good intentions. It is love born from relationship.
Oh! That we would be people desperate enough for Christ that we bulldoze all the scaffolding. That we would set fire to the planks, the props, the programs used to maintain appearance and satisfy our ego. That we would start new, at the feet of Him whose love is enough, and we would come with no other agenda but to know Him.