I call it my Crazy Dreams list.
- Study literature at Oxford
- Start an orphanage in Nepal
- World Tour with Aaron (Places to hit up include but are not limited to: Turkey, Nepal, India, Thailand, Italy, France, Germany, and England)
- Run a marathon
- Study interior design
- Open a used bookstore/bakery/coffee shop
- Hike the entire Appalachian Trail
- Write a book
- Get dreadlocks
As I thought about the new year this morning, I jotted this list down in my journal. I struggle, and have for the last 10 years, with voicing dreams and ambitions, ever since I made a sincere decision to follow Jesus anywhere and everywhere He led. If Jesus is Lord and Master of my life, then my "right" to call the shots is non-existent. Yet, I also believe that He has given each of us specific callings. He has a plan.
The struggle is to discern His calling from my ambition.
So I come with my Crazy Dream list and cast it at His feet. It's not a year's wages of costly perfume. It's just some wild stirrings that pulse in my heart.
This, from Elizabeth Elliot, sidled up next to my list during my morning tryst on the couch. Put perspective on the whole lot of seedling desires that were sprouting out from a deep place in me.
"In the forests of Ecuador I soon learned that there were journeys I could not make if I wanted to carry baggage. Traveling narrow, muddy, and often steep trails on foot was impossible if I was heavily loaded.
So it is with the spiritual journey. We cannot make it if we insist on taking along everything we think indispensable. A rich young man was attracted to Jesus and contemplated joining His company, but Jesus spoke plainly of the necessary condition: Sell all you have first.
If he had not had much, perhaps he would have laid it down readily. But he was too rich to follow Jesus. He turned away, sorrowful.
We may be willing to part with almost everything God is asking us to relinquish, but perhaps we are clutching one thing tightly- "all but this, Lord." "Lay it down," Jesus says. "Let it go." If we refuse, too rich to follow Him, we have chosen a greater poverty in the end.
2011 is just a babe, swaddled in the wrap of potential and possibility. I lay the newborn bundle down. Nothing is out of the reach of the altar.
Not the Crazy Dream list, not anything. Let me not be too rich, either in the currency of possessions or dreams, to follow Him.