Friday, June 20, 2008

Pursued and not forgotten

I'm thankful for a God who pursues us. We run, we fight, we stagger about as if we know where we are going and what we want. We have no idea.

Through the last six months, God has pursued me. Unrelentlessly. Patiently. Lovingly. I have been such a stinker, to put it bluntly. I have wanted to be anywhere but where He put me and have lost no time in telling Him and others that this wasn't the plan I had chosen.

No. But. It. Is. His. Plan.

I remember one night in Kolkata. I was in bed. Watching the ceiling fan whoosh, whoosh, whoosh overhead. Sheila was next to me, but we weren't talking. We were waiting for sleep. All of a sudden, this thought was in my head, crystal clear. It was different from the other thoughts that were drifting through my mind. It felt like--this is as best as I can explain it--God just dropped this thought into my mind, and bam, there it was, and I knew it was His thought. The thought was this: "I am going to move home to Bolivar when I get back, and I will teach school next year."

Since returning home, I've been stuck in a lot of discontent and resentment at being in a place I didn't really want to be. I have forgotten that thought. Sometimes I would remember, but I would write it off as my own. Now...here is the exciting part. Through all my wandering this last semester (not literally, as I have been in Bolivar, pop. 9,792 the whole time), God has been working out His ends in my life. To cut out the details as I need to get ready for work, I am going to be teaching 6th grade in the fall at a Christian school. I am SO excited about this. I am taking some masters classes in education this summer, and I have to take some tests in the fall to obtain certification, but I am going to be a TEACHER! There are so many cool things about this job--I get to work with a group of smart, godly people who are passionate about teaching children that everything right and true comes from God and that learning is an act of worship. I get to switch classes with the 5th grade teacher. She will teach my kids math, and I will teach her kids Language Arts. I love English (hello, my major!), and Math is about the most tramautic memory I have from grade school, so this switch-a-roo is most welcome. I get to decorate my classroom and pray with my kids and read to them and teach them to write vividly and descriptively. I feel so alive when I think about this job, and it is the first time in a long few months that I feel alive!

I am so thankful to God for showing me the next step. I don't know if this will be longer than a one year commitment. For this next year, it is right and good. It is so neat how God gives His people passions that will advance His Kingdom. When I was in India, I felt alive too. Working with women and fighting for freedom and redemption made my heart beat harder. Now, for the next season, the passion will be teaching in a small school in a small town. God is big. Is wise. He is fitting all these passions together in a beautiful mosaic, and I don't need to understand how all the pieces fit together right now.

He will keep alive in my heart the things that need to live.

He is able.

All right. Shower time. Then work.