Monday, November 5, 2007

there have been better blog days

Normally I update my blog when I first get to the Internet cafe. But today, I wrote emails, and looked around Facebook a little bit, and read the blogs of my teammates, even though I see them almost every day. All that to say, now one hour has passed, and I should leave soon. This post will be short and probably scattered.

Life is a collection of so many meaningful moments. Sometimes I find themes and connections, and sometimes I don't.

Beth and I were on our way to a restaurant yesterday, and a little guy came up to follow us and talk. Not unusual. We were walking in an area that is often frequented by foreigners, so a lot of kids who live on the street hang out there too. He was quite the conversationalist, telling us that those two dogs on the sidewalk were his, but did we possibly want them? (As a side note, I have never seen a sadder animal than a Kolkata dog.) Beth asked him about the plastic bag he was carrying. "What's in it?" she asked. Batteries and glue, that's what was in it. If I ever forget that there is a lot of pain in this world, Kolkata is quick to remind me. But this little boy, I want to hope for him. Maybe you could say a prayer for him, that Jesus will rescue him, help him, deliver him into safety and love.

Also yesterday, I was journaling as the day wound down, and I was freaking out. Five and a half weeks left here, and part of me wants to stay, and the other part of me wants to run away as fast as I can. What will it be like to return to America? How will I be changed? How will I respond to the things that I have seen? Will I ever come back to India? More immediately, will I be able to find a job in Missouri...do I want to live in Missouri...maybe...I don't know...

All these questions. Thoughts. Fears. The resurfacing battle of living in the present, the struggle of being content with this day and this situation. Out of the foggy mess, this one thought rose:

"But I trust in You, O Lord,
my times are in Your hands." -psalm 31:15

My times are in His hands. Here and Now. It is enough manna for today.

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